What u have, want, w b can't have, h b don't want, & what it means!

[kFoyauextlH]

https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/video/9.6837611

The Battle Of The Golf Course.

"
@fugitivephilo
3 years ago
"To destroy the colonial world means nothing less than demolishing the colonist's sector, burying it deep within the earth or banishing it from the territory." —Frantz Fanon, Wretched of the Earth.
"

I just received my Maya Hieroglyphics Dictionary, nicely tight wrapped and compressed in modern plastic.

It has over 1100 symbols, which can give an impression of the common themes that likely played on the minds of the people by appearing all around as motifs and were intelligible in other ways for the literate.

I am not an Arab, I make use of the Qur'an. I am not a Roman, I use Roman Text writing, we use the Phoenician Alphabet which was heavily influenced by the Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics. I am not from those various tribes of people from around the world, but use their ideas as I please, such as the people of India, like the Hindus and Buddhists, and many others.

So too are these things from the Americas, long abandoned by most, available to the modern nowhere people, available to use as one pleases, and in my opinion, ideally in the most useful, inspiring, creative, intelligent, and beneficial ways. Why shouldn't all human material and products be available for use to the other humans later? The Non-Muslims don't offer any particular respect to the things connected to Islam that they scoff at, and the J people are highly xenophobic and supremacist while having a long history of apparent appropriation from surrounding cultures that they supposedly worked harm in gleefully, and only now do we hear a lot more about people trying to gatekeep and possess for their in group certain things which limit their overall scope and range of further influence, so they are actually limiting the life of any of these materials, like the life of a "virus" or gene.

To me, these things no longer, and really perhaps never did belong to anyone in particular, they were communications that were broadly used by whoever could make use of them, seen wherever they were seen, which referred to what was known and experienced and universally public and free, the elements, the things in nature, the heavenly bodies like the stars, and no one on the Earth owns these things exclusively or ever should be allowed to make such a claim. People should be slain who try to horde up the air, the water, and exploit things, both considered inert and unliving and the living things.

Instead we have total mismanagement of what is owned, so that the people living here for example are shipping out all their natural resources outside and importing other natural resources to themselves, pretty ridiculously, so thst our local prices for things that we have around are higher than they should be because we don't get the primary access to them!

This sort of stuff is so depressing. I am not an Arab, I am not from the Mayan places, but I use these things, and I feel that whoever uses them and makes use of them may be a more respectable heir to them than those who don't really, or who approach them in a more mangled fashion post-Christianization and being chewed up by the colonial machine.

I believe that the baseline of communication from humans has remained largely the same, that there is only one true religion which is all inclusive of everything anyone has thought up so far and used across the world, and that we can pick and choose, accept and reject, just like anything in the day that we pick and choose and accept and reject, and I don't draw too harah of a line between the truth I can extract and explain from fiction or from nature, or from fictionalizing nature or naturalizing fiction and making it relate to the apparent reality even if it was produced based on available ideas from this reality in order to operate in a fictional world originally, the intentions of any of these artists is secondary or of less concern as to what I may be able to do with anything for my own pleasure in this brief set of experiences in this reality.

[kFoyauextlH]

This is a bit depressing. The local thrift store at walking distance (15 minutes) is closing down on the 16th of August. An online billion dollar company seems to have run a scam today where they made people arbitrarily hyped and waiting for some items to be released with a countdown then never actually released them, wanting people to pay for a premium account first or to get them, after saying they would be available to the customers, the page then wouldn't load and never offered a buy button and then set it back to requiring a premium account, which was all very bad will inducing for customers, and because of that I cancelled a lit of things I had in pre-order. I bought the items I had wanted second hand so that they don't get any money directly, but it is still very annoying. The final straw will be Amazon, and they have already been irritating by cancelling things without much notification that I've been very early to pre-order, but they prioritize shipping them to other people, hatefully, probably even late comers that get it at reduced prices sometimes too. All these businesses are being run terribly and they don't even seem to be making good use of the available technology to improve sales and the buyer experience, and they don't seem to care to test anything or listen to feedback, often making constant arbitrary improvements that actually mess things up more very frequently.

So I'll hopefully be saving a lot more money. It is hard to enjoy anything anyway while m*ss m*rder is going on the way it has been. I'm watching a popular trending movie called Kpop Demon Hunters about murdering Palestinians just like Minecraft and probably others, since they depict them somewhat similarly in all these as just standing around (with no shelters because they destroyed them all).

A lot of rich J people are suddenly visible and out and about here like never before, choosing to move into this area as it is still relatively cheap and with available spots, and the things for the poorer people are being wiped put, and basically people are being run out of the area, so that nothing is affordable for the people and they just wait them out until they die or are forced away, and might help things along with quick evictions and fires and ignoring all kinds of problems with the buildings or itching to condemn them and force everyone to move on short notice. There are slight protections but barely any to give much confidence overall.

It isn't like options to upgrade along with everything else are even readily available, it is just leaving people behind and watching them suffer and lose everything and be overtaken, it is miserable, and it is being done across North America and elsewhere, the bunch here happen to be wealthy Chinese people and J people who are choosing to move here more than ever before. They do behave differently from others, with a lot of snottiness, uptightness, racism, sneering, bullying strangers for fun, it is like nothing I've ever seen before, and they cut past lines and do lots of terribly rude and obnoxious things, like they are trying to provoke people or something or start trouble, but everyone just wants to avoid any altercation or incident and scuttles off with their head down or ignores the totally out of bounds rudeness or provocation efforts, but it is sick and I've never seen any other cultural group act in such a fashion. They even made it uncomfortable for me to walk down a certain path because there are these two scary trolls who sit on the bench and attack people and harass them as they walk buy, the guy even approached me to try to attack me while making some racist joke. This whole G*z* thing has made them completely unhinged and exposing how horrifically nasty and race obsessed their culture is at this point, like they are in my opinion very lost and far from any norm. Everyone else seems nicer by far in comparison, like there is no comparison once they are being seen and are acting so overtly nasty towards anyone they want to, seemingly pretty randomly, lash out upon. They seem to feel like they will never be touched or daring people to even say anything. This isn't even G*z*, but they are acting like they are superior to everyone around, with no real justification for that except maybe their wealth. No one but these people jam themselves in front of others or pull open doors for themselves that one is standing in front of already or just cutting in front of somewhere one is standing and looking at something, it is very shameless.

So things seem to be headed downhill here again.

[atreestump]

Are you familiar with The Backrooms?

[kFoyauextlH]

Is it this?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Backrooms

Just a little, like I've heard of this liminal spaces and empty places stuff that had some videos on YouTube, but I'm not sure if they've made more of it since I last saw it, which was just about empty and abandoned places that feel a little weird or creepy to people, along with the way that they tend to photograph them.

I was laying here in bed, it is almost 8 A.M. here, and I'm actually sort of experiencing the theme in a way. There was a conversation in the hall, and I went to see, and no one was visible, they were out of view and around the corners, and were elderly people talking about a move they are going to make, unnecessarily in my opinion, to another apartment that is older and smaller possibly, and they were talking about lightheadedness, a lack of appetite, and then the other person said to keep his number handy in case they need to call for help, the whole thing stressed me out so much that my heart was beating fast just thinking about it. I doubt the apartment would be affordable, but it is the one right across from mine and one of the biggest probably as it has two bedrooms, but he complains of some kind of toxicity in there potentially. I am locked in this space with very little room and too much stuff that has been shifted for the pest control and not shifted back because of the difficulty involved.

I've never seen their place inside, as even if their doir is opened it is just a wall and one has to to the side to get to the main areas, so it is like a backroom mystery left to the imagination. All I've ever heard are sounds from when people had been going in there, as they were showing it frequently when trying to sell this building, which now was sold and is under new ownership. All these changes lead to stress and instability.

I was looking up the etymology of the word war which apparently "confusion", and that is what a lot of these changes seem to bring, a sense of fear through a lack of clarity and certainty, and undertaking without knowing what is in the blind spots, the places where the visibility is low, and where one can't see.

That theme has been haunting me with the constant fear about numerous things, including my repeated pain issue that returned now more than once after days of nothing like that happening, so I'm left in suspense, but there is suspense about so many things, about my other apartment and what might be going on there, also just when I'm standing on the floor by my bed where I felt like a gigantic spider might run out from underneath, and usually when I feel that way, it has happened, and then it did happen just the other night and luckily I was not standing right there as there is barely any room to move or dodge the spider. It was very big but I caught it, unlike the one I failed to catch where the attempt led to a huge scratch down my arm because it was in the middle of some bikes and the metal must have gotten me. Earlier in the night my clothing got caught in the grocery store when I was reaching for something and snagged a thread loose, which irritated me, but I managed to pull to back in. The item I was reaching for was up high and around, behind something, in the back.

This theme repeated or had already occurred where a woman with a pronounced vocal fry, which I had been commenting earlier that I had never heard in the wild or out in real life, was speaking to the people at the deli meats counter section. I had to avoid her and a wet floor sign where there was no longer a wet floor as far as I could tell. I was trying to find out what these different looking meats were in a Turkey & Beef sub sandwich called a Dagwood. They were confused and told me it might be pork, and I told them that the Classic Dagwood there already has pork. Then another conspiracy was offered, that the hot dog meat of 100 percent beef hot dogs was actually mixed with pork too, which I don't really believe but I can understand the doubt people may have lol, but that is what the person behind the counter told me after the other worker had disappeared around a corner and behind some doors in a backroom type area. There were corners and unseen areas everywhere, particularly pronounced this time, and incidents with girls not turning their heads, so that I couldn't see their faces, both in the apartment and at the grocery store, which was unusual and creepy. The one girl whose face I finally saw, may have been one I saw earlier on my last trip to the grocery store, where she had a spiderweb drawn next to her eye. If it was her, then practically everyone who was there last time was there this time too and they've been there every time I've happened to go to the grocery store on amy random day.

I was looking up Jubilee or had seen Jubilee from the X-Men one day and she is a character that spent her time in the liminal places by hiding out in a mall after hours. Them I went to the grocery store and the worker was named Jubilee, she was there on this trip too, along with the guy from the register who just happened to be shopping and was off work and not in his uniform. It is Truman Show-esque to just keep seeing the same people over and over who happen to be shopping on whatever day I go there.

So the lady with the vocal fry asked the people at the counter if they had fondue and they didn't even know what that was, but I told her I had seen it, and that it was around the corner, in a place that was not visible from where we were walking as I was trying to show her, but then it wasn't even there when I made it there, so she said she just might make it herself, and I asked if she knew what cheese they use for it, and she said "fontana or something", amd I left it at that, knowing that was not the names I had heard for the typical cheeses used, but not remembering the name or the pronunciation of it.

Back around the corner I went, to my cart where I had left there, and the people who had said at one point they think the strange meat in one is almost certainly beef were now saying it is likely pork lol.

I bought the stuff and went to the door and it was locked and so I was standing there and then from around a corner the security guard came along to open the door. I went outside and then saw that the thrift store was closing and that the painting of the caterpillar from Alice In Wonderland that I had been a little interested in and looked at every time in its high place eas a blank space now. I tried to look around in the closed store from the outside, looking around the corners how I could. Then walking back home I turned a corner, and looked down a side road where I meet a cat, but didn't want to meet the cat under these conditions, but walked by while still looking, sensing that the cat was very likely there and possibly even watching from somewhere but it only approaches once I enter into the area. Then I saw these two strange looking people I had seen in the grocery store who had appeared around a corner, and then who left with me and went the other way and disappeared around a corner, where now one of them, the more remarkable of the two, was coming out of a door in a strange apartment which has only a narrow staircase behind the door before leading up to the unseen apartments.

At some point there were also 3 people on bicycles appearing one after another around the corner, and they aren't supposed to ride on the sidewalk, the first had a bright lamp and suddenly appeared, then there were two others, and I was apprehensive about the blind spot they had been appearing from rapidly.

I reached a place where people leave books and things for the public to look at or take, and I saw that there were a lot of CDs in there which I couldn't see what they were, so had to lift each one and read it, and most were classical, but I was carrying grocery bags and couldn't set them down in case earwigs would climb on them, and the bench or whatever had slits I couldn't see past, with plants and dirt underneath that looked like the sort of place earwigs like to climb around. Then there was this sound of rustling over and over next to me, which may have been a large rat, but it caused me to turn where I then saw a crazy looking person rapidly approaching from a distance and I abandoned everything and headed to the light to cross the street, and the crazy looking person possessively went to the place where I was to look through what was there also. There were more corners on my wayback, and then another free book containing unit which I looked through with my phone's flashlight. There was someone down the street with their headlights left on and pointing in my direction.

The books were in layers, hiding other books, ans there were corners, so I had to push some and lift some and create spaces to look around and to see what was there.

I approached the vehicle with the lights creepily left on and the guy got out of the vehicle, walked around behind his vehicle, and spit on the sidewalk, so I crossed the street, and they got in their car and rode away, but the behaviour was all really weird.

[kFoyauextlH]

Oh yeah, in the beginning of the trip there was some weird stuff too, where I had to leave crouching because of a spider web right in the corner of the back door with a spider on it right where my face would walk through, and then when I left that moment there was a guy walking right there and looking and then he went down another street, but I disappeared from view by walking straight and it was like a corner forms or one can't see me on that path even though it is right ahead, so I turned to look back few times and wave while I was still visible. There was a guy sitting on a ridge at the side where later the strange car with the headlights left on would be, and he was acting weird also.

All this because I wanted some potato chips lol.

The moon was a very stark half and half, half of it couldn't be seem, like a corner.

It was a mysterious trip, full of something that might include themes that appear in relation to whatever this Backrooms stuff is niw, or was at some point.

So the spider had gotten food too when I returned, I knocked and was spoken to from behind the long shades so couldn't see and opened the door and I bowed low, and entered. The "fear of the spider" element was a running theme along with all this, down to the web drawn on the girl's face on another day, and the web looking similar to the web outside my back door that I have to bow low under, because of how both are sideways, like it isn't a complete web but a very specific shape and direction and both are C shaped or partial, so it is very weird to have that on a girl's face and right outside my door. The weirdness has been extremely heightened lately as I myself feel like I am in a strange limbo.

"
The word "limbo" comes from the Latin limbus, which translates to "border," "edge," or "hem".
"

"
The dance "limbo" is not directly related to the theological concept. It's believed to have originated in the West Indies, possibly from the word "limber," and involves a person bending backward to pass under a bar.
"

Pass under.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/limbo

"
limbo(n.1)
region supposed to exist on the border of Hell, reserved for pre-Christian saints (Limbus patrum) and unbaptized infants (Limbus infantum);" c. 1300, from Latin limbo, ablative singular of limbus "edge, border" (see limb (n.2)). In frequent use in Latin phrases such as in limbo (patrum), which is entirely Latin, but the in was taken as English and hence the Latin ablative became the English noun. Figurative sense of "condition of neglect or oblivion, place of confinement" is from 1640s.
"

The Backrooms.

liminal(adj.)
"of or pertaining to a threshold," 1870, from Latin limen "threshold, cross-piece, sill" (see limit (n.)) + -al (1). Related: Liminality.

https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Ranald

The crossed fingers and crossroads have been coming up a lot.

"
Ranald may even see fit to reveal the great joke of life to his priests, inspiring irreverent laughter in his own devoted in the face of the unsettling, intimidating, and terrifying.[1l]

The Cult of Ranald is, by general perception, a disorganised rabble of charlatans, thieves, and ne'er-do-wells.[3e] Authority figures loathe the worship of Ranald and do not embrace its clergy as they do those of other cults of the Old World,[9c] despising him as a god of thieves and scoundrels. Even the Empire's middle-class, who try to honour most of the gods equally to insure every aspect of their lives against calamity, dislike him, specifically the law-abiding folk.[6c] He is spoken of by the orthodox leaders of other cults as the wicked trickster god, a patron of "base personages."[9c]

However, Ranald is a far more popular god than one could determine by counting temples in the street.[9c] His cult is more co-ordinated than it appears,[3e] popular throughout the Empire and the Old World among a broad swath of people.[4a] He is popular among the urban poor,[6c] is a hero to the masses, and is beloved by all those whose daily tasks revolve around money.[9c] Those who dislike him still ensure the proper coins are slipped to the right people so that he will turn his eye from their businesses,[6c] and because he so loves to see the mighty fall, powerful merchants who got where they are by prayer to Ranald are sure to donate a great deal of their wealth to his cult.[9c]

Those who feel the unequal socioeconomic system of the Empire has kept them down, those who are addicted to risk, and those who want justice for the poor are all drawn to Ranald's cult.[4a] Anyone who seeks wealth, feels they have been cheated or downtrodden, desires to break a string of bad luck, or simply wishes to hold on to what riches they have already accumulated, prays to Ranald. Common folk do so whenever they need something, as unlike most other Gods, it is believed that if you pray enough to Ranald and really need what you request, he will hear you and you will receive.[9c]

Ranald blends truth and lies as if there were no difference.[3c]
"

"
A deity of the common people, the fickle luck god, the quintessential rogue, Ranald is all these things and more.[1d] He is the god of thieves who steal as much for the thrill as for the reward.[4a] He is the trickster happy to pull down the lofty and raise up the low.[9c] He is the champion of freedom[8b] who shelters and supports those who fight for it.[1l] He is the laughing champion of the downtrodden, the bane of the self-important, the night prowler.[4a] He is the god of the weak, the forgotten, and those who need a change in fortune.[9c]
"

https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Cult_of_Ranald

9:19 A.M.

[kFoyauextlH]

Also, I watched a show called Untamed, and I'm watching another called Department Q and The Residence, and each of these has all these themes connected to what may come up in relation to The Backrooms as well as what I brought up in my story.

It is interesting also for this thread to be the one these themes appear in, because this was always a thread to do with the puzzle of movement, desiring, aversion, and certain complicated variants to do with attaining and not being able to. So tied also with that are how the annoying toy company thing caused them to lose customer goodwill and how unexpected results occurred due to that and I went to find it in some other way.